69 Reasons to join Sunshine Colored Ductape

1: We blow up hospitals. Or is that too far? If not then visit:

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2: Are you sure that every girl in the world secretly loves you?

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3: Do you thrust your hips into the air when you think no one is looking? Then live at:

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4: I found my virginity at:

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5: Looking for legal marijuana?

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6: Do you want to see where pi ends?

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7: Looking for a purpose in life?

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8: Where do thoughts come from?

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9: Don’t have enough money to afford a brazzers account?

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ITS POWER LEVEL IS OVER 9000!!!

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11: Have you ever wondered if water is wet?

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12: Do you think this caption is amazing?

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13: Do you enjoy murdering innocent children? If not then go to:

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14: If you want the power to instantly teleport to Disneyland then visit:

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15: Do you desire to travel beyond the speed of light?

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16: It’s nothing like any girl you’ve ever seen before. That’s because it’s a blog.

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17: Feel like getting a free 100$ Bill?

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18: My penis grew after visiting:

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19: Looking for a comedy blog that won’t give you herpes?

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20: Wanna know how to get that arrow out of your knee?

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21: Ever seen the color zanguple? If not then visit:

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22: Do you want me to stop watching you sleep at night? Then visit:

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23: Sometimes, at night when everyone else is asleep, do you cover yourself in Vaseline and pretend your a slug? Visit:

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24: Do you hate wordpress sites? Then visit:

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25: Wanna get your cherry popped without feeling pain? Then visit:

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26: Want to grow a pubic hair beard? Then visit:

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27: Is Facebook too mainstream for you? Then fuck you hipster visit:

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28: Do you find yourself attracted to trees?

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29: Do you get lost in your own home?

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30: Did you have a dog for breakfast this morning?

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31: Thinking of committing suicide?

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32: Do you want to know how Ted finally meets the kid’s mother? Then visit: Aninfinitespace.wordpress.com

33: Do you not understand the above reference? Then visit:

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34: Did you respond out loud to the questions on this flier? If not then visit:

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35: If I asked you to go to Aninfinitespace.wordpress.com would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one?

36: Aninfinitespace.wordpress.com

You know what to do

37: If you think swearing is fucking retarded? Then visit:

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38: Do you check under your bed for hipsters and Scientologists every night? If so then go to: Aninfinitespace.wordpress.com

39: Do you have a 10 button on your calculator? Then your probably high.

40: Are you an independent black women who don’t need no man in her life? Then visit:

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41: Done with homework? I didn’t think so. Either way visit:

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42: Not done with homework but looking for a way to finish it all instantly?

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43: Ever had sex with a Volkswagen?

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44: Do you swallow gum because spitting it out is too mainstream?

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45: Disappointed because its against the law to keep slaves?

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46: Have you laughed since reading these reasons?

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47: Have you not laughed since you started reading these reasons?

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48: Don’t have internet access?

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49: If you saw that one person in that one movie that one time visit:

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50: If you have 99 problems but reading unfunny blogs Ain’t one of them son then visit:

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51: Are you tired of hipster blogs all about Nutella? (tumblr)

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52: Are you a pyromaniac?

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53: Do you want to know what the color “red” is?

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54: Do you have a PHD in horribleness?

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55: Looking to adopt a Nigerian princess?

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56: Does your face make small children cry?

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57: If your name is Han and you shot first then visit:

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58: If you wrote the draft for this list of reasons using a stolen pen then- Wait. Thats just me? Then I best be heading down to:

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59: Do you do things for the lulz?

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60: Are you the troll under the bridge?

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61: Are you tired of having the comedy site you read confused with a drug? (cracked) Then visit a new one at:

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62: If you think you are the most interesting man in the world and you don’t prefer Dos Equis go to:

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63: If your the real slim shady go to:

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64: If your “a doctor not a blog reader” then visit:

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65: If you can use the force even though you have a low midichlorian count then visit:

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66: If fuck midicholrians then visit:

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67: If you are the “Apex Predator” then go to:

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68: If you do not fit any of the above criteria go to:

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69: If you think its immature that this ad has exactly 69 reasons go to:

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