5 Reasons why the Illuminati are in control


1: Because they’ve infiltrated all aspects of our society

So your walking down the street with the girl I love and I’m like Forget you! and you see an old lady walking a dog. You pass right by them because they’re adorable, and there is no way they could do any harm right? WRONG!

Normal Grandma and Dog? Or? ILLUMINATI!?

For every 2 grandmas who are innocent and sweet, studies show that there are EIGHT! who are evil and Illuminati members. That’s right, 83.3 of all innocent grandmas are actually not innocent and actually evil. Actually.

Yep. 100 percent correct statistics.

2: Because we have all become part of the system

“I ain’t going to be part of this system!” ACTUALLY though, Andy Samberg. You are.

See that’s the sad part, even the legendary Andy Samberg is part of the Illuminati. And we trust him and many other celebrities when really they’re part of the Illuminati. We trust the government even though they too are part of the Illuminati. YOU MAY BE TRUSTING THIS BLOG POST WHEN REALLY I AM FEEDING YOU FALSE INFORMATION BECAUSE, YES, I AM PART OF THE ILLUMINATI.

3: Because they utilize the force

Jedis are Illuminati. Simple as that.

Alternate Symbol for the Illuminati.

Yeah, pretty much. Having the force gives them an advantage.

4: Because We let them!

Yeah. When was the last time you did anything to stop them from bringing about the new world order?

Average Reader’s response: “Never 😀 Go die!”

5: But it’s okay that we let them because seriously the Illuminati don’t do anything.

Lol when was the last time you heard of the Illuminati actually doing anything. That’s right.

Losers. Go get a job.